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Yous suspect your ex is manipulating you. Forget that. You know your ex is definitely manipulating, but don't know how they're doing it. I'll tell yous exactly how your ex is manipulating you.

Most exes are good people. Sometimes they eh… you know, endeavour to manipulate you into getting back together. But that mostly out of agony. But there are some really sneaky manipulative exes who tin can mess up with your emotions so bad hat you don't know which side is up or down.

I have written so much about how "no contact" as a strategy to become an ex back is oftentimes a desperate and sneaky attempt to play on someone'due south fearfulness of rejection and/or abandonment and go them back into a human relationship that they walked abroad from, and oft for a proficient reason (reasons).

But this is not the merely way a manipulative ex ex can endeavour to manipulate or control yous. Hither are a few more signs your ex is desperate and trying to manipulate you by playing on your emotions.

ane. Negating

Despite yous telling your ex that you're no longer together, they deed like the relationship never ended or as if nothing has changed. Your ex is not only in denial, this is your ex manipulating you into voiding the pause-up. They think you fabricated a mistake ending the relationship, and desire you likewise to think you fabricated a error. It is the "if you don't come across it, it doesn't exist" or "If you don't admit it, it never happened" mind-angle technique.

two. Gaslighting

Your ex is telling you things that make you question yourself and your reality. For example, they tell y'all a different version of the break-upward that paints them in a better lite than you call up and insist that if they said or did anything to hurt you, it was because you did or said something that fabricated them hurt you. Every time you talk to them, you feel like you must be imagining things because your reality is not reality.

three. Thou promises

Your ex is promising you a "too good to exist true" relationship if you take them back (east.g. exist more than open, spend more fourth dimension with y'all, take you to romantic getaways, make dramatic life changes, and even proposes to you). If it's too practiced to be true, see it it for what it is – likewise proficient to exist truthful.

4. Excessive apologizing

Your ex apologizes a little too much, and when they don't not get the response they hoped for, they stop contacting you, deed out angrily or tell you to go over information technology already. The 'apologies' are non actually an apology. Your ex is manipulating you. They are convinced that an apology will go you back, and proceed calculation things they apologize for because the last apology didn't work, so they come up up with what they think will do the trick this time effectually.

5. Quick fixes

Your ex acts like they had an epiphany and overnight woke up a whole new (inverse) man or woman. The new quick fix is "I read near near zipper styles, at present we can go back together". Don't fall it.

Change takes months and even years, and some people never change at all. Any big-bang theory way changes are just that – a snake oil salesman's phenomenon cure.

half dozen. Guilting

Your ex'due south then called "changes" are conditional. They say "I'll modify merely y'all have to promise me…" . Some exes even say "I'll change but I don't want to waste material my fourth dimension changing if we are not getting back together."

The conditions sound bad all on their ain. Merely what your ex is actually wants y'all to know is that they're "sacrificing" to brand those changes for you lot. Guilt is a very powerful emotion and manipulators know that, and utilise it with no mercy.

7. Baiting

Your ex creates situations or drama to baiting you lot into contacting them. For case, they send y'all a text saying they have something important to tell yous or something they need from you. They could take easily said information technology in the text, but no. They want you to contact them to find out the important thing they want to tell you or demand from yous.

Run across this for what it is, your ex trying to manipulate you into contacting them. Near people if they have something of import to tell y'all simply come out correct and tell you what it is. If they are making you work to hear what they have to say, information technology is not important.

8. Power playing

Your ex reaching out and disappearing when you lot reply, and then reaching out again is all almost power-pay. For example, they say they want to return your stuff. Then when you lot say, "Okay, let's do it", they don't respond back. Weeks later, they reach out again asking to come pick upwardly their stuff and drop off yours. You respond to say that'due south fine by you, when would they like to come over? No response. Sometimes it is I want "my stuff" back, you keep it, then dorsum to them wanting it dorsum.

Remember, the i who has the power calls the shots. Don't permit your ex dispense you. if you accept their stuff, drop it off . If they want to drib off yours, that upwardly to them. No games.

ix. Compulsion

If your ex sounds more than like a therapist than an ex trying to make a relationship work, it is because they accept figured out that "getting into your head" is the only way they can brand yous have them back. For case, they talk about your low, anxiety, attachment avoidance, fright of rejection/abandonment etc., like they they know you better than you know yourself, and pretend to be your "emotional back up" all the while pursuing their own selfish calendar.

This is 1 of the sneakiest and most manipulative tactic considering it works. In one case they go you into thinking you are "damaged goods" no one else can appreciate, wants or tin deal with, they have you (against your will).

ten. Threats

Your ex is threatening to "move on" if you do non make upwardly your heed and take them back. They even tell you no 1 will love you more they love you, predict all kinds of doom for yous without them in your life and make it look like your happiness depends on them. Accept information technology equally a threat, "I'll brand your life miserable" if you don't have me back, and they volition.

Don't give your ex the license to manipulate you lot once more and once again

Manipulators take an agenda when they deal with others, and take advantage of those who are inexperienced to come across through their games.

You accept the upper hand here– and the opportunity to accept the relationship the management yous want it to. Don't fall for the manipulation. Falling for your ex'south manipulation merely gives your ex a heightened sense of superiority and a license to do information technology again, and once again.

If your ex's attempts at manipulation is something out of character, that is, they were never manipulative or controlling in the human relationship, or mostly non a drama queen or someone who is fond to emotional stress, then they're just acting that way out of hurt or desperation. If you lot even so care about them and believe that there could be a future for the two of you, and then brand them work to prove themselves over a period of time that they are worth giving some other risk. If they human activity consequent in ways that show yous they truly have changed, and that the change is permanent, then give them a adventure.

But if your ex's mental attitude, words, actions and behaviour are only a continuation of their manipulative and decision-making nature, it'due south  best to walk abroad now than later. You merely have yourself to blame if yous go back to the same exact relationship that you lot walked away from, or should have walked abroad from a long time ago.

RELATED:

10 Silly Listen Games Your Ex Is Playing To Get Yous Dorsum

10 Well-nigh Confusing Ex's Behaviours And Misread Signals

10 Signs Your Ex Is A Loser (How to Spot A Loser)

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